Regression – not Progression

Before I went off to South America in August 2015, I cut my hair. I have been back just over a year now and I haven’t cut it since! It is almost exhilarating – I haven’t had long hair since I was a teenager – and it was never that long to begin with. I remember once, when it was at its longest, I could cross my arms over my chest and, reaching up with my left hand, grasp a thick hank of hair and pull it under my chin to where my right hand would have grabbed the left hank and the two ends would meet.

That was back in the early seventies and I’ve never had particularly long hair since and nor have I wanted to. Now however?

I enjoy it, much, perhaps as a shaven headed man must feel running his hands over his smooth pate whereas I run my hands through my hair, pushing an errant lock out of my eyes.

So, here’s a photo of me with long hair from my bus pass back in the early seventies. Notice the segmented wheel around CIE, the national bus company at the time – Coras Iompair Eireann. I always though it a bit odd that a broken wheel should be the logo for a bus company!

cie-photo

Here’s one of me now.

photo-on-29-10-2016-at-9-39-pmAnyway, I seem to have regressed to my second childhood now, despite the fact that I grunt whenever I sit down or stand up and already I am describing my age in terms of that old e-mail attachment which I include here:

“Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m four and a half!’

You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key 



You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m gonna be 16!’

You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!  



But then you turn 30.

Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed? 

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40.

Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone. 



But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would! 

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. 



You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70!  After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! 

You get into your 80’s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.

And it doesn’t end there.

Into the 90s, you start going backwards; ‘I Was JUST 92.’



Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. ‘I’m 100 and a half!’

 

Author: serkeen

I am Irish, currently living in West Australia. I have a degree in Old & Middle English, Lang & Lit and, despite having worked in Kuwait, Italy, Malaysia, USA, Brunei, Australia and Hong Kong over the last 40 years, I have a strong interest in Ireland’s ancient pre-history and the heroes of its Celtic past as recorded in the 12th and late 14th century collection of manuscripts, collectively known as The Ulster Cycle. I enjoy writing historical novels, firmly grounded in a well-researched background, providing a fresh and exciting look into times long gone. I have an empathy with the historical period and I draw upon my experiences of that area and the original documents. I hope, by providing enough historical “realia” to hook you into a hitherto unknown – or barely glimpsed - historical period.

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